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Valentines Day [Feb. 14th, 2007|10:59 am]
Happy Valentines Day to all of my Friends!
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Life in general [Dec. 30th, 2006|10:35 am]
[Current Location |work]
[mood |depresseddepressed]

It's amazing how time flies in between posts. Not exactly sure what this is going to be about, just going to type whatever comes to mind. End of the year, wow, nothing like that to wake you up. Kind of forces you to take a look at your life. I'm thinking mine wasn't all that great. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of things to be thankful for and had a lot of good times. But, overall, I'm not real happy. Actually, I think I'm pretty much depressed. Maybe disappointed, probably both. Way too much happening to go in to all the details. I guess the bottom line is I'm not happy.
I feel like I'm running through life trying to make everyone else happy and its making me miserable. I'm reaching the point I just want to get off the ride, just drop everything and start over. Unfortunately I can't do that. Being on lj helps keep me sane. Kind of like leading two lives. When I'm on here I can read about and talk to people about things that interest me that I can't talk about in real life.
I guess thats pretty sad. Being with the person your supposed to spend the rest of your life with and they have no idea what is going through your head. So much in common, yet opposite in so many ways. I feel like I need two lives to survive.
In the process of withdrawl from life I pushed away all my friends. Not a good thing, I have no one to talk to or confide in. Some of my online friends know more about what is going on than anyone in real life. Why is it so much easier to talk to a stranger? Maybe stranger is not a good word. How about a faceless friend? That describes some of you, but I know what some of you look like. I guess online friend works best. Online friends are the best, always easy to talk to.
Online Friends. Would we have the same relationship if we knew in each other in person? Would we each be accepted into our circle of friends? Would it matter? Does the internet break down the barriers that would be there in real life? I have friends online that I'm sure I would not have in real life for a variety of reasons. Main one being distance, others include age and lifestyle. I for one would love to meet all of my online friends, at least once, just to give them a hug and say thanks for being my friend.
Things I want to do next year: Make it a better year, get in touch with all of my old friends, make good on anything I may have messed up last year, stay focused, try harder and follow through, get my priorities straight, oh, can't forget exercise and get in shape, and, most important, find that confidante that is always there when I need them.
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I got tagged! [Nov. 30th, 2006|01:33 pm]
OK. I have been really slipping lately. Not posting, not replying to emails, over all being very lazy and non responsive. Now I find out I've been tagged for a meme thingy. Rather than dropping the ball again I figured I would post it.

Post 10 random things about yourself and then tag 6 friends, no tag backs

1. Wearing wet clothes drives me insane. Like if you go on a log flume ride and you get all wet, I have to change clothes. If I don't I will get really irritable and cranky.

2. I despise rude people. Rude people suck. If you can't say something nice don't say it. Especially on lj.

3. I hate mean people too. Mean people suck. Nice people swallow. Nice people are, well, nice.

4. I love to read other peoples life stories and compare notes, it amazes me how similar people are

5. If I see something wrong I will tell you. Like if you have a piece of food stuck on your tooth, I won't look at it all night, I'll tell you it is there.

6. May as well add stupid people to the list. I work in a call center and deal with stupid people all day. They drive me crazy. To all the stupid people out there, get your shit together!

7. I love to eat! We plan vacations around places we want to eat at. I know that sounds crazy, but we love food. We watch the Food channel all the time, every time we see some place that looks good we write it down and plan a trip. Yummy!

8. Massages. They are wonderful, love to get them. If you haven't had one you need to get one. It is the ultimate in relaxation.

9. Another irritant is spelling. I'm not the best, but I make every effort to make sure all is correct. With all the spell check stuff available there is no reason your spelling shouldn't be correct.

10. I'm great at keeping secrets. I don't tell anyone anything that is held in confidence.

Here are my tags: dizigirl breathlesslover y0urlipsmykiss myfairbeirut neko_secrets hereandnow4u
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I've Been Nudged [Oct. 11th, 2006|07:47 pm]
I'm still here. Even though I don't post in my journal regularly I am usually here almost every day. Except last week, I was really sick and missed like 3 days of work. I should probably try to post a little something everyday. Key word there is try. We'll see what the future holds.
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Catch Up Time [Sep. 19th, 2006|01:47 pm]
Ok, I'm back from a 5 day vacation. I'm totally locked out of lj from work, so had to find another way in. Thank You unblockonline.com! I'll probably spend the day reading through my friends page and catching up on all the comments. Thanks for all your comments, I'll get back to you all individually as quick as I can.
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Daddy's Poem [Sep. 12th, 2006|10:14 pm]
Her hair was up in a pony tail,

her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school,

and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,

that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand,

if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,

for her to face this day alone.

And that was why once again,

she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school

eager to tell them all.

About a dad she never sees;

a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently,

anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,

every child turned to stare.

Each of them was searching,

for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"

she heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one,"

another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,

she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad,

too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,

as she smiled up at her Mom.

And looked back at her teacher,

who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,

slowly she began to speak.

And out from the mouth of a child,

came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,

because he lives so far away.

But I know he wishes he could be,

since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,

I wanted you to know.

All about my daddy,

and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories

he taught me to ride my bike.

He surprised me with pink roses,

and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,

and ice cream in a cone.

And though you cannot see him.

I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,

even though we are apart

I know because he told me,

he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up,

and lay across her chest.

Feeling her own heartbeat,

beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter,

who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love

of a man not in her life.

Doing what was best for her,

doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd.

She finished with a voice so soft,

but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,

he's my shining star.

And if he could, he'd be here,

but heaven's just too far

You see he was a firefighter

and died just this past year

When airplanes hit the towers

and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,

it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes,

and she saw him there that day.

And to her mothers amazement,

she witnessed with surprise

A room full of daddies and children,

all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,

who knows what they felt inside.

Perhaps for merely a second,

they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"

to the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers,

of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,

for each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her,

was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,

by the love of her shining star.

And given the gift of believing,

that heaven is never too far.
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All's Quiet [Sep. 8th, 2006|08:05 am]
Not too much going on. I went through and deleted some of my non mutual friends. Mostly people I haven't heard from or can't remember why I friended them. That and figured if they can't friend me, back why be friends.
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Dizi's Bedtime Story [Sep. 2nd, 2006|05:01 pm]
[Current Location |Work]
[mood |hornyhorny]
[music |70's]

For dizigirl Thanks for being there

Under the CoversCollapse )
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Feeling Better [Aug. 22nd, 2006|01:20 pm]
[mood |happyhappy]

I'm starting to feel better. I've got a good LJ friend that keeps me smiling!
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Depressed [Aug. 19th, 2006|09:18 am]
[mood |depresseddepressed]

I've been in a major down rut lately. I don't feel like doing anything. Starting to feel a little better, but still not 100%. Sometimes I wish I could just fade out of my current life and start over from scratch somewhere else being someone totally different.
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